My Life Is Artwork Gone Wrong
If you asked me ten years ago where
I was going to be ten years from then I could have given you a straight answer.
"I'm going to be an Artist and Traveller!" well they walk together
and I was sure of it.
I loved to paint, and it came so
naturally. I told stories, shared my hopes and dreams... and I was
confident.
Then I went to college and
everything became complicated. I thought that things would stay simple and
that my life would turn out like one of my paintings: an exciting idea, then
messy beginnings that grew more refined with every choice.
And life did turn out to be like a
painting. If you draw or paint you'll understand when I say that you see a
picture in your head -- it's the image that you want to appear on the paper or
canvas. But sometimes... it turns out completely different and you wonder just
when things went wrong.
Due to tragedies in my life and a
hidden struggle with my disorder day dreaming, I thought that becoming an Engineer
would be the best choice. Well I am one of those bunches of breads now.
The moment i took up this job, i was just preparing myself to get my life upside down and unbridgeable. And it happened slowly but caused lotta damage. The job that i cannot leave, I can't count how many times I've
cried out of frustration. *Cut*
I don't see my family for months and years at a time, and
I don't have any friends where I live now. I am just being social
now. I love making new friends specially while traveling.
Aaagggrrrrhhhh...!!!
My life was definite when I started
it. I was going to become something transcendent. And now I am just that
little color on the brush after painting, you know you cannot use it.
I love what I do for a living, but ironically I can't help myself.
The painting that is my life isn't
the painting I saw in my head ten years ago. It's something else
entirely... and now I'm not sure what to do with it.
