I Have a Life That I Didn't Planned

My Life Is Artwork Gone Wrong 

If you asked me ten years ago where I was going to be ten years from then I could have given you a straight answer. "I'm going to be an Artist and Traveller!" well they walk together and I was sure of it. 

I loved to paint, and it came so naturally. I told stories, shared my hopes and dreams... and I was confident. 

Then I went to college and everything became complicated. I thought that things would stay simple and that my life would turn out like one of my paintings: an exciting idea, then messy beginnings that grew more refined with every choice. 

And life did turn out to be like a painting. If you draw or paint you'll understand when I say that you see a picture in your head -- it's the image that you want to appear on the paper or canvas. But sometimes... it turns out completely different and you wonder just when things went wrong.

Due to tragedies in my life and a hidden struggle with my disorder day dreaming, I thought that becoming an Engineer would be the best choice. Well I am one of those bunches of breads now. 

The moment i took up this job, i was just preparing myself to get my life upside down and unbridgeable. And it happened slowly but caused lotta damage. The job that i cannot leave,  I can't count how many times I've cried out of frustration. *Cut*

I don't see my family for months and years at a time, and I don't have any friends where I live now. I am just being social now. I love making new friends specially while traveling.

 

Aaagggrrrrhhhh...!!!  

My life was definite when I started it. I was going to become something transcendent. And now I am just that little color on the brush after painting, you know you cannot use it. I love what I do for a living, but ironically I can't help myself. 

The painting that is my life isn't the painting I saw in my head ten years ago. It's something else entirely... and now I'm not sure what to do with it.

Moving is Life, Seems That's All I Do

Moving is Life, Seems That's All I Do

All my life, literally that's all I've been doing. I moved like 7 times (From Belgaum to Nashik, Banglore, Delhi, Jammu, Punjab, Belgaum, Pune and finally to Mumbai) during my whole life. It sucks when u have to leave all those people who you've been spending time with. And you what sucks even more? That you won't be able to see them for a long time.

The thing which is the worse is fitting in after moving. Meeting new people and trying to fit in. Apparently making friends isn't my thing, I mean heck, and I’m not shy! The thing is everyone has friends already and you have no idea where to go or who to go with.

****!! I hate my parents moving!!! Moving when I'm in my high school years? Seriously? How can i make memories when All I’ve been doing is moving from one place to another? They don't have any idea how hard is to let go of your old friends.
The good part about moving? You can start everything over. You don't have people who know about your past. No one knows anything about you. You can make a total new reputation.

 You can catch my all experiences: 

visit www.brat-nitish.blogspot.com

Start a new Life..!!

Start a new Life..!!

I want to start a new life - a new place, a new job, and new friends ... everything a fresh start. Problem is, if I do this (and i probably will do it), i wonder if it's purely starting a new life or is it running away from the old one? Because I’ve done this before many times, i guess and every time I do this, I end up with broken push pole in sea and tend to start a new one again.

I travelled a lot and seldom settled anywhere for long, 7 different junior schools in different states and same with my job. So if i messed up, no big deal - could always start over somewhere else. Sometimes i'd decide before arriving whether i'd be a perfect, a troublemaker or a confused. Always fun to role-play. Eventually i settled down in one place. We only moved three times in that state when i was still living at hostel, and i only went to 4 different schools, that’s pretty settled for me. Not sure i liked it though. 

During college and school time I made friends thinking last for decades but was a myth in my head.  After that i moved away - away from home . Got on a bus and travelled all the way with 1 handbag to Pune. Found a job, a room and settled down, lasted over for 8 months. Then i moved again after trouble making with school friends. This time got the job at Ghaziabad; there I messed up with my school friend again, so time to move again LOL. Got new job at Nagpur at Reliance Infocomm. which again lasted for 8 months. And truly speaking, I wanted to move back to Pune and wind some unfinished windings but this time new company moved me to Mumbai. I'm not really good at commitments and responsibilities coz of this I am suffering a lot at my workplace, job, life, family.

But till now I have L(earned) one thing. Speak less, Listen More. And this is going very well for me, as this giving me time to analyze and learn more about human behavior.

So am I am running away? Or is a new life a healthy thing to go for?

You can catch my all experiences: 
visit www.brat-nitish.blogspot.com